Oye...hooyeee Lappy thik ho gaya...shayad!

It has been like time when the last "Halley's Comet" was seen with its extra-trail when I posted last, so first let me apologize for my absence.

But, I really can understand the "pain in the NECK (I'd have used the three letter word but I leave it to my professor to use such words... yes he did say *all iit profs are some "beeped words"* in front of the whole class and he also read the latest Chetan bhagat's book.)"... of people who are disgusted to see their facebook, orkut, twitter,
g-talk and all the n number of social networking sites page cluttered with my updates... like

1. Read my blog

2. Blog updated

3. Blog updated after 10 years

4. I'm committed... read more at my blog... and their disgust they find I was lying, yes I'm single and ready to mingle(for a girl, of course)


"Aaacha, main baat pe aaate hain"

"My laptop, my lappy... arrey wahin jo mera friend hai... was not well , kharab ho gaya tha"


I don't know what went wrong with it but I was getting nightmares of my separation with it and thoughts about its funeral and reporters asking me

"kaisa lag reha hai ab aapko, aaapke lappy ke death ke baad"

I'd have screamed in the camera... "kaisa lagega? I'm frusst... ulti frusst... don't have a girlfriend, no lappy, what will I do in KGP? and would show the middle wala finger and push the cameraman to buy another laptop".



Ok, no more exaggerations, my laptop's graphic card had/has some problems. The service center guy took it for 20 days was unable to find any fault and was going to change the "motherboard" and though it costs like bomb I gave green signal but that guy was really some *beeped word*.

Eventually, I fought with him and brought my laptop and thought of screwing(experimenting with) my laptop.

1. switched on the laptop

2. Plugged the charger

3. Had dinner

4. Had a 2 hour long bhaat-session with a guy *Chaos* and talked about relationships, zodiac signs,theists and atheists (yes we do talk these things)... conclusion: Chaos is completely having a chaotic mind, he believes lovers are stupid, romantic movies are absurd and is an atheist.


5. Came back in my room

6. Emptied the water bottle (arrey wahi mirinda wala jo last time piya tha) into my stomach.

7. switched off my laptop

8. switched on my laptop


EUREKA! YAY! It's finally done

"Lappy theek ho gaya"

And, now I need to catch up on movies, TV series : BIG BANG THEORY, HIMYM ... movies promos of three idiots and yes some good videos(pure bhakti videos :P)

Ahh, I also have a test tomorrow but ..........you get the drift?..... I'm not going to read and still pass (yes by cheating of course)


DISCLAIMER: The first unedited, uncensored, typed on blogger and not ms-word, blog post.

Nuptial Crisis and Modern Indian Marriages

When a film like “What's Your Raashee?” releases, Chetan Bhagat’s new (4th) book’s release date is just a few hours away which draws inspiration from his inter-state love marriage, your youngest uncle finally (yes finally!) is ready to “tie the knot” next month and you have recently turned 21, i.e., now a legally eligible bachelor (*wink*), the most pertinent question which is likely to haunt you could be necessarily related to your marriage. Hence, the result is a fictional account on marriage!

Rajesh, a typical NRI who left India at the age of 21 in pursuit of financial stability and exotic lifestyle after doing his engineering from “BITS Pilani” was worried while returning back to Lucknow after 5 long years. His disturbed mood was due to the pressure from parents’ side to get married soon. Firstly, he was not at all ready for marriage and secondly, he didn’t have much faith in the institution of arranged marriage in India which was his only route to get married so soon as he haven’t dated a single girl in his life including his 5 year of stay at United States.

Scene of “Modern Arranged Marriage” in India:
A girl/boy is found through some so-called reliable sources like matchmaker, matrimonial sites, or even relatives and friends. Till this point, it’s completely comprehensible but the real problem starts now. The girl/boy in consideration should be of same caste, different clan (Gotra) and preferably of same state too. After these two screening stages, an astrologist is consulted to match the horoscopes of the prospective bride and groom and after a green signal from the expert the parents fix an almost blind date in which the boy and girl have to give a final agreement or reject the proposal. The matching of horoscopes could also be done after the approval of both the sides.
This weird looking algorithm to arranged marriage really skewed Rajesh’s belief about the traditional marriage in India. However, he also wanted to have a partner to fulfil his physical and emotional cravings so he agreed.

Why against “Arranged Marriage”?
Educated youth like Rajesh not necessarily NRI’s do find arranged marriage strange but lack the guts and conviction to revolt against the wishes of parents and succumb to the emotional pressure. They simply don’t like the whole complex procedure of marriage, in which clan, caste, state and some imaginary concept like horoscope is prioritised much higher than the compatibility of boy and girl.

Why “Love marriage” is not an option?
There is a concept called maturity and lack of experience. Supporters of “Arranged Marriage” argue that people in their 20s are not matured enough to use their inadequate experience to choose the right bride/groom. There is one more concept of “surprises and new experiences”. They say when people don’t know each other before marriage, everything is new in marriage and each day brings surprises which strengthens the nuptial bond compared to “Love Marriage” in which there is no such surprise as they say!

However, I say “are maturity and experience that important”? Haven’t they heard that “Experience is a comb which life gives us when we are bald”?... In metropolitan India, teenagers are generally well aware about their career-plans, so are able to convince their parents in contrast to sub-urban and rural folks. This is where the actual problem lies!

That “surprises and new experiences” concept could also turn a nightmare to deal with as all surprises and new experiences are not pleasant.



BTW, how could I forget to mention the witty sugarcane analogy?
Sometimes, parents are equally wise enough to convince their sons/daughters to take the path of “Arranged Marriage”. The sugarcane analogy goes like this. The sugarcane is meatiest and sweetest at the bottom and loses its thickness and sweetness as we go up, and in love marriages it’s like eating the sugarcane from the bottom. So, it feels very romantic and perfect at the beginning but gradually differences start coming and it is similar to chewing the tasteless thin sugarcane which is only water at the top. In arranged marriage, it is the reverse and surprisingly it works for most of the Indian couples!

So, Rajesh was confused and was going through what we call “Pre marital blues”.



Rajesh tweeted: I don’t want to marry :(

Shriya replied: @Rajesh what happened?

Rajesh: @Shriya “Arranged Marriage sucks” and I don’t have a girlfriend :(

Shriya: @Rajesh heeheee!

Rajesh: @Shriya don’t laugh, help me with some ideas to escape this mess

(Phone Rings!)

Rajesh picked up the call. “Hey! How are you?” Shriya asked. Rajesh shared the
problem with her and Shriya said “Don’t worry! I’m coming to Lucknow in 3 days; we’ll sort out the problem. Bye! Take Care!” Shriya comforted Rajesh as he went back to his laptop.

Shriya tweeted: uploaded new photos @orkut (link).

Rajesh as every other internet user clicked the link but left the tab open and went to attend the call of nature.

Rajesh’s mother entered the room and looked at Shriya and found nobody in the room. She left the room shouting “Rajesh! Rajesh!”...

Rajesh sees her pictures and immediately memories of childhood started coming to him in flashes.

After 3 Days...

Rajesh and Shriya are talking at Rajesh’s room. Shriya tries to put some “desi-gyaan” into Rajesh’s thought process. Shriya sensed it all was going in vain.
“Do you love anyone? Crushes?” Shriya finally asked the most important question.
“No” Rajesh replied in a plaintive voice.
“I think you are in the wrong place then” Shriya tried to make some good logic
“Are you ready for marriage?” Shriya asked annoyingly
“Don’t know” Rajesh was getting more confused.

The whole conversation was being heard by Rajesh’s mother...

What followed next...?


Any guesses?

.....

To cut the long story short, Rajesh’s mother and father met Shriya’s parents, discussed all the matters. As a matter of coincidence, Shriya and Rajesh are of different clans and of same castes with matching horoscopes. Initially, Rajesh hesitated but soon his feelings for his first crush came to fore and he fell in love with Shriya.
Rajesh and Shriya lived happily ever after...

Lesson learnt:
It is either love or arranged, marriages are made in heaven. So, both have equal odds of succeeding. Ideally, one should leave everything to his/her fate and use his heart and a little bit of wisdom.
As with Rajesh and Shriya, your love could very well be arranged...



If interested in reading further, click on these links for articles:
1.A modern guide to arranged marriages

2. Pre Marital Blues

3.First Comes Marriage, Then Comes Love

PS: I don't know what will be the reaction of my family members after reading this post.

PS: God Save Me!

The Red Swimming Pool with Succubus/Incubus

“Isn’t the water a bit reddish?” I tried to break the awkward silence between Mahesh and me. However, the next moment surprised me when I turned my head and wasn’t able to locate Mahesh who was sitting alongside me near that swimming pool.
I rushed to look for him and...

“Where did you vanish?” I swivelled him through his shoulder to discover that the person was not Mahesh but an old man who looked young from his back.
“What do you want son?” the old man asked me.
“Mahesh” I mumbled.
“What?”
“No, nothing” I tried to avoid his eagerness to poke into my matters. He looked like an ordinary grandfather-like figure but his voice and eyes were full of energy which was hard to not notice.
“Today you’ll meet SHEEEE, Miss. X and meet a severe accident” the man left me stunned. He knew about SHEEEE and Miss. X! But... How?
“Don’t think too much, I read your blogs” the old man amused me with his reply; I was pleased to discover that my blogs have become so popular.

I was framing a line in my mind to start a conversation with my blog reader, and Mahesh disturbed me and as I turn towards the old man he was nowhere.

“Mahesh! You good for nothing clown where did you go?” I tried to sound very angry over his non-sense act.

...

We were walking through the corridor of our coaching institute when I convinced Mahesh to go to CCD. When we were sitting there the old man’s line started haunting me, how did that person know that I’d meet SHEEEE and Miss. X? And most importantly accident?
When I was trying to decipher the line a boy rushed towards me madly and spills over his coke on my shirt. I went to the bathroom to wash it off.
There I met that old man again.
“Hey! How do you know about my meeting with SHEEEE, Miss. X and accident? Are you God?” I fired these questions at him
He answered casually in a low tone, “maybe!” and started walking, I followed him but the crowd didn’t allow me to chase him. I tried to look for him after manoeuvring my way out of the CCD.

...

I again reached the “swimming-pool” and this time the red colour was too obvious and I couldn’t take my eyes off the pool.



After few minutes I found myself in the swimming pool, and I discovered that the red colour was because of something highly suspicious. I immediately came out of it and ran towards the CCD...

In CCD, I met a girl sitting just opposite to me and smiling at me. I almost jumped with joy to see SHEEEE; I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to propose her today. We chatted for around 30 minutes and I felt that as the world has been paused and we are the only people living in this illusionary world with a proper time-frame. So, just as when I thought of proposing SHEEEE, I remembered how I was rejected by Miss. X when I proposed her in an awful manner.

I started thinking about that day; somebody invaded my thoughts, I saw myself in a street with a beggar asking for alms in “English” in India! Then a man well groomed asks me “what do you want moth##$$^^&^?”
...
Then, I was again back at the table with SHEEEE opposite to me, smiling with her braces. I bent in my knees, held her hand and she started blushing. Just as when I was supposed to say that “Romeo-Juliet-line”, I was interrupted by guess whom?
Yes, Miss. X!
She was standing behind SHEEEE at a distance of few meters from us. I decided to meet her first, I coursed my way towards her but she started looking anguished. When I reached before her eyes, she was staring me with a “you-desperate-looser” look.
...
After few minutes of staring each other, I was in front of SHEEEE and Miss. X, trying to make myself believe the impossible. They came forward, and pushed me in unison from the CCD-at the 8th floor.
To my good luck, I fell in a swimming pool, and yes that was the red swimming pool.
Wait!

That was not a swimming pool, which was something else, two monstrous-looking persons came towards me with some sword-like thing, I tried to swim out of the pool, but the water didn’t help my cause. I forgot swimming; there was a flow of water towards the direction of those guys. I began shouting.
Help, Help, Help!

And, my wing-mate woke me up!



Yeah that was a dream, what did you think?
Those incoherent creepy things only happens in dreams, and that too when you sleep when the world around you is all awake. I can’t call it a nightmare; I might call it “daymare” or a futile attack of Succubus or incubus, whatever you like to name it.

PS: This is 55% true.
PS: I saw "Omkara" today, an awesome movie, loved the use of expletives.
PS: I'm really peace-marofying during my mid-semester exams by watching movies, blogging and sleeping like never before, God Help me!
PS: Peace... LOL