When I was in class 4, I was in the swing(Jhula) like just another toddler experiencing the new found joy of oscillatory motion.
Going back & forth, with full gusto!
My uncles broached a sensitive topic. They started talking in English, oblivious of the fact that kids of my age could also understand English.
That was just so naive, on multiple levels! I heard everything.
Yet I didn’t respond or react. I kept enjoying my swing.
Maybe I learnt to selectively not respond from this incident!
I met Purna, while she was almost about to alight from the metro train. It was not out of the blue. We had coordinated that, to the T.
I just didn’t give her the agency she deserved. In the hopes of bringing fun, to the otherwise mundane lives of ours, I chose spontaneity.
I’ve always fancied my choice of spontaneity & extempore, over the carefully curated version of life & speech led by most folks. Of course, excess of most things are/is bad!
I just feel that we might have exceptions to this thumb-rule quite often than we realise.
So, Purna was visibly a bit displeased.
Perhaps, she had something else planned in her mental itinerary.
We kept on talking on our metro ride back to the place where I thought it would be more appropriate to spend some meaningful time.
She kept on bringing new conversation pointers, and I got immersed in them. It was as if I was trying to hold arrows coming towards me in a basket.
And, she started to complain that either am I not listening to her or I have a hearing problem.
How do I tell her that 'I heard everything', I noticed everything, I took all the cues. I just chose not to respond to everything or at times I just wanted to confirm what she said.
Maybe to give her a chance to rephrase or choose a different topic to broach. Makes Sense?
I heard her joke about the 'fallen bread slice'.
'Kitna Gira Hua hai!' (How fallen is this slice of bread!)
I listened to the joke, smiled mentally, savoured it and didn't show any reaction.
She was unhappy about my lack of acknowledgement.
As if, I am just not interested in the conversation.
She wanted to know. She wanted the feedback. Did she also want approval? My approval?
Why so? Who am I? And, what does my approval mean to her?
Of course, if it was Validation which she was seeking, I'm at fault. Validation when sought, must be provided. I have learnt this from her.
Purna (पूर्णा or पूर्ण) in Hindi means Complete. She is complete. So, why she seeks my approval or anyone's approval?
Yes, I must hear everything what she says. I must listen to her like an obedient student. I must give her the agency, the power of choice when she deserves it.
We all keep learning & evolving. Maybe we are not पूर्ण yet!
Of course! I heard Everything, Purna!
PS : Work of fiction
PPS : “Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.” - Mark Twain
