Calmness of the Quest

The girl was chanting an ancient esoteric mantra, sitting in a serene pose, letting the sea breeze and tiny droplets adorn her presence. 

A middle aged man who was strolling along the beach got pulled towards her silhouette.

He didn't try to intervene the meditative trance of the girl who looked surreal.
He sat beside the girl, careful not to disturb her communion with the divine. 

The girl after few minutes, rubbed her palms, opened her eyes, and looked at the man. The man felt the powerful gaze of the girl peering at his soul.

The girl offered the man few sweetmeats, which he gladly accepted and started to relish.

Man : I felt immense calm emanating from you. Apologies, for intruding into your space.

Girl : No Problem. It's the divine will.

Man : How long, have you been chanting?

Girl : Since the sun shone on the shore. 

Man : Hahaaa. I meant when was the first time you chanted or meditated?

Girl : Since the sun shone on the shore. Maybe you are trying to put the time-space continuum on my tendencies. Anyway, let's first understand your motivations to engage with me.

Man : I don't have any

Girl : Are you sure?

Man : I am financially abundant. I have all the luxuries of life. I came to the beach for calmness. Looking at you I am tempted to surmise that you are an embodiment of calmness. Hence, I am still here. Are you content with your life? What do you do?

Girl : Let's unpack one thing at a time. So, financial accomplishments have failed to provide you the serenity which you are seeking here. And, to your surprise you also have an epiphany that due to the luxuries of your life you are driven to seek peace. So, you are grateful for your material gifts and that has enabled you to this quest of calmness.

Man : Indeed!

Girl : Can you flip your journey?

Man : What do you mean?

Girl : There is a calmness in this quest. Calmness resides in the quest of calmness. 

Man : This sounds like a play of words. Yet, I might have got your message.

Girl : Sir! In this quest you will cross few levels. Keen Observation, Introspection, Awareness, Mindfulness. This is the Quest.

Man : When we observe, it's sometimes unsettling and we lose grip with mindfulness. 

Girl : In Bhagavad Gita, Shri Krishna says, 
"asanśhayaṁ mahā-bāho mano durnigrahaṁ chalam
abhyāsena tu kaunteya vairāgyeṇa cha gṛihyate"

O mighty-armed son of Kunti, what you say is correct; the mind is indeed very difficult to restrain. But by practice and detachment, it can be controlled.

So, Sir! Practise.

The man bowed down in reverence towards the wise girl. As, he stood up, the beach was devoid of any human existence till his eyesight could gaze. The girl had vanished in broad daylight.

The man kept questioning the encounter. Was he dreaming? He wasn't.

Like all pleasant experiences, he thought, "let me stay with the message & its feeling". This is my calmness.
Calmness of the Quest.

My Healing Journey - Should you Take Therapy?

The past 18 months have been rough for me; to say the least.

I have been to Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Healers, Therapists, Activity Groups, Astrologers,Psychics, Tarot Card Readers, etc.

My first therapy session began with me saying, "I am unhappy yet I don't know the reason. I have a high paying respectable job which offers me work-life balance. I have no family obligations. I have no rift with anyone. At the outset, nothing seems awry. Still! I am morose and have a melancholic outlook towards life. What's wrong with me?"

And in the last therapy session 3-4 months back, I said that I am happy and I don't know the reason.

That seemed like a full circle.
When I narrated the above to a Spiritual healer, she was enraptured.

No, I didn't have any clinical symptoms. I was perfectly fine. Yet, I was not well. 
The phase also marked the end of a journey. It wasn't easy for me.

Around 13 years back, when my mother had died of a prolonged illness, I was shook from my foundation. I had lost all zeal to live. I remember saying to my flatmate and co-worker that, "it seems like my 'जठराग्नि' has got doused by the loss of my birth-giver."
Few years later, one of my closest friends reminded me of that phase of life and said that if I could survive that phase of my life, I can see through any small setback like a 'bad breakup'.
This has stuck with me ever since.

If I can see through the loss of my mother, the only person I admired & adored at the same time, I can definitely weather through any storm in life.

I am reminded of few lines from Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood, 
“No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. No truth, no sincerity, no strength, no kindness can cure that sorrow. All we can do is see it through to the end and learn something from it, but what we learn will be no help in facing the next sorrow that comes to us without warning.”

Seems like life is a series of Cathartic episodes. 

Truth being told, there was a phase in life, when I was unable to take shower as the mere act of closing my eyes and putting my head to the flow of cold water scared me to the bones. 
I have gone through that phase. It is in my past, now. Thankfully! I am full of gratitude to all the professionals I worked with and the blessings of the divine. As without the grace of the ever merciful, not a single leaf flutters even in a raging tempest.
Jai Sri Hari!

You may ask what worked for me?
Let me lay down the 4 tenets of healing:

1. You are not responsible for your suffering. Maybe!
2. There is no shortcut to healing journey
3. Your friends & family are ill-equipped to support you in healing
4. Always consult an Expert Practitioner. Psychiatrists, Psychologists, etc.

So, you may ask, "Should you take therapy?"
Yes!
By all means.
I am a proponent of universal talk therapy; a space where you get to bare all your ramblings & demons from the deep recess of your hearth of emotions & thoughts.  
You need the expertise and a non-judgemental space to pour out your feelings. Merely talking things out sometimes works like magic in breaking the patterns that ensnare your mind. 
So, how do you find an effective mental health expert?
Let me think and write another post.

Have you seen the movie : "Bhool Bhulaiyaa" ?