My Only letter: Confession...

Hello readers,
I’m Nilesh. I was born to a self-sufficient middle class family. I’m the only offspring of my parents. I want to confess something, I know this is a blog but I don’t have any other medium to express my emotions and feelings. Please forgive me and the blog-owner if I don’t give you any literary pleasure of sorts or if ... you’ll get to know it after reading.
From Childhood days, I was pampered a lot and I still remember that I never would ask for any toys, gifts or chocolates. It’s not that I didn’t like to ask for it or I was a saint but I’d so many relatives who loved me that I was happy and satisfied with them.
During my summer and winter holidays, I used to visit my maternal Grandfather’s place and there I’d meet my other two cousins. We used to have a great time during those 2-3 months and our uncles and aunties would be really annoyed by our irritating behaviour. I can go on describing about my cousins but I’ve shared a special bond with them which they don’t comprehend so better leave it to them.
My mother is the best person I’ve ever met in my life. I truly think that there is no other relationship in this world which I’ve experienced is as self-less as this one. I know this would be rephrased by many sons and daughters for their mothers but that also can’t fulfil the debts of her on us.
After 10 years of continuous pampering, I can easily describe myself as a spoiled brat. My mother used to do assist me in each and every thing. I couldn’t even eat with my own hands, she used to feed me. My School bag was arranged by her and all...
My mother had a severe accident and she became almost incapable to do even her basic things; just around the same time my father had a great loss in his small business and we were forced to discontinue our studies for two months. Nobody came forward to help us. When after much hard work my father’s economic condition got stabilised, my uncle advised my father to take my mother to abroad. My father had lost all his hope so he followed his advice but he forgot that my mom had an incurable ailment. All his money got drained in USA and he had to come India alone with news that we have lost our mother. He broke down; his business was slyly taken over by my uncle and he had no money in his account to do anything. Our uncle disowned us and we were forced to move into a slum. Our father took a job of labourer at one of his friends shop. I had to wash cars and with the little savings we could only afford a government school that too till class 10. After my matriculation I’d to become a driver because my father was diagnosed with blood cancer and we didn’t have much savings to continue his treatment. After few months I lost my father too.
I continued my driving but the big void created in my life was a continuous cause of worry. I began to contemplate the purpose of my insignificant life. Then, I met urvashi. I always used to wonder why god suddenly brought her to my life when I had lost every meaning to live. She was educated and was rich but didn’t mind dating an uneducated driver.
After a lot of drama, urvashi was engaged to me. I was the happiest person in my slum locality. One day from nowhere my uncle appeared in front of me and told to forget urvashi. I was shocked. The most disturbing thing was that urvashi accompanied him and opened my eyes.
Urvashi and Uncle had tricked me. I still don’t know the reason why these many things happened to my life. Why Urvashi did that to me? Why my uncle did that to my father and me? Perhaps the world never liked the happiness we had and was jealous with my father and mother.
So, today I took a knife and slit my wrist. This is my last and the only letter I’ve written.



Mom, I’m sorry but I couldn’t fulfil your dreams and I also couldn’t save my father.
I’m coming mummy and papa, I’m coming!

Disclaimer:This story is a work of fiction with some real life inspirations.

This story is inspired from the rise in the number of Suicide cases in my college campus.

Cynicism of an Average Indian and the "Vicious Circle of Corruption"

“A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.”
- Sidney J. Harris
Poverty, corruption, illiteracy, malpractices have found an irreplaceable place in the high-school social textbooks. These words have an everlasting effect on the immature minds and mould them into cynic about Indian bureaucracy and political system.
Ask any young educated Indian about politics, legal system, government officials or college professors, he will have only one word to describe and that is “hopeless” that too with a disinterested look on his face.
The problem lies in our system which resists “change”. Indian people should start believing that change is the law of nature. Due to this mentality, the vicious circle of corruption goes on and it has an aggravated trickledown effect on other government machineries. A young undergraduate student goes to bank for a loan and he is asked for various documents, names of which he has never heard of before. After a span of few years when he is in his twenties he wants to get a driving license; for that he has to bribe. Same thing happens when he gets whims about “foreign-soil” and its glamour and luxurious lifestyle, he has to fill the pockets of policemen and give few 100 rupee notes under the table to the passport agent. After spending 3-4 years in abroad, comes back and gives civil services examination, qualifies in it and immediately gets into power; and now the vicious circle takes a half revolution. The coming few months are spent in saying no to “corruption” but as we all know it hardly happens that a public servant escapes the pressure of the boss or the greed of quick and easy money. He also supports his actions on the grounds that he has given it, so it’s the time to take it back with 200% interest. His hunger never ends and soon the vicious cycle of corruption is completed and it always goes on.



Even if few people do succeed to remain honest in their profession their self-respect and dignity is hurt. There is a funny incidence about a newly-appointed IRS officer who is being offered “posting in a good place” by a peon of his office. I mean there is no way a self-respecting person can handle this insult. (No pun intended)
While vicious cycle of corruption follows its periodic motion it irritates the common man and his beliefs are reinforced and he turns a poor cynic Indian. He gradually forms a belief system that Indian system is hostile towards change. In addition, the overly obsessed Indian mindset of “extrapolation without proper analytical reasoning” even worsens the situation prevalent in our country.
This has to change very soon in India. However, I doubt that to completely bring corruption, poverty and illiteracy to a tolerable level it’ll take at least 20 more years even if we start working from right now.
Let’s uproot the cynicism within us and plant a seed of hope and vision in ourselves.


PS: The IRS Officer, I mentioned in the post is Arvind Kejriwal.

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I'm back... What the F!

Huh...so finally I end my break with this post. I know you must be thinking:
“What is the use of such formality; “What the F, Dude!”?”
NO, you got it wrong this is not the only reason for this title of this post but there are more “What the F!”s...



I was not in the blogosphere, that doesn’t mean I was in Pluto-yes, the excluded member of the planets of solar system. I was very much watching the events going on around me and in this world. This only aggravated my cynicism.
However, the first question would be, “what I did in these 2½ months”?
As you all know that I am an engineering student, so I should have done some internship, training or project but I didn’t chose any of them or the other way around...whatever it doesn’t make any difference to me.
As expected of a procrastinator like me I spent my summer holidays watching TV, reading novels, novellas, self-help books and finally I also spent a lot of time chatting with friends, grandmother and few “Knowledge- for-free” experts.
I have also developed a “goatee” for looking similar to MTV VJ-Jose Covaco and getting a more masculine face in respect as I’m straight and my blog too. However, some people are happy being the other way around...yes I’m talking about that bunch of people who celebrated after Delhi High Court finally decriminalized homosexual relations; court struck down Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code. I am not against gays and lesbians and I neither deny the arguments laid by religious gurus.
“Section-377 issue” is not the only big news which made my eyes and ears wide open. The recent Rita Bahuguna Joshi and Mayawati developments are like writing on the wall to the future of politics in India; it’s getting dirtier and dirtier. Talking about politics and how can I forget the resurrection of Congress Party in India. I don’t like to mention here that I’m a BJP supporter or in favour of congress-led government but I really like the present scenario of Lok sabha as the ruling party is self-reliant for majority and the opposition is also strong unlike previous assemblies.
I’m a diehard cricket freak but every Indian has his/her personal opinion so I won’t like to use another jugglery of cliché things.
So was this piece of my work something worth an expression of “What the F!”
Anyways, have you forgotten my other novel blog, "The 3 Nerds"?

I have finally... yes finally updated it after almost 2 months. Read it from here
Now, this is seriously , “What the F!” or something else?