The Green Thread

 

It began with an email.

Anupam had been watching the edtech space with the quiet disinterest of someone who used to care. He saw promotional videos that screamed of utopic success, courses that moved fast but left nothing behind, and learning platforms that sounded like gym apps. Pretending to be Efficient & Soulless.

But something about her startup was different.
It wasn’t the design. It wasn’t even the product. It was her writing, a blog post buried on their site to be precise. Measured, exact, no performance; Just presence.

He read it twice. Then once more, just to confirm she hadn’t overwritten it. She hadn’t.

That evening, he drafted a mail.
Not a pitch.
Not a portfolio.
Just a thought, folded carefully into a proposition.

Subject: You’re Building EdTech. I Build What Students Remember. Let’s Talk.

Dear Anukriti,

I’ve spent the last five years in a strange corner of the internet, answering questions students didn’t know how to ask in class, breaking down Economics into human language, and slowly, steadily turning confusion into clarity.

Through my YouTube channel and writing, I’ve helped hundreds of MSQE aspirants (and curious minds beyond them) navigate not just what to learn, but how to feel less alone while learning it.

You’re building EdTech.
I'm building educational intimacy - the kind that sticks after the tab is closed.
And I think there's a space where our worlds overlap.

From deep-dive explainer scripts to adaptive learning paths, I can help shape the voice of your product and not just what it teaches, but how it feels to be taught by it.

I’m not here to sell videos. I’m here to help you build something students come back to—not because they have to, but because they want to.

Let’s talk. No rush, no pitch-deck posturing. Just a conversation.

Warmly,
Anupam
Writer. Educator. Pattern-seeker.

---------------------------------------
He didn’t expect a reply. He never really did.

But she wrote back. 

Hi Anupam,

I don’t usually reply to cold emails.
But I read yours twice. Once as a founder, once as a former student.

You’ve got something. A tone. A clarity. A kind of… gentleness that we’re missing in our product right now.

Let’s set up a time next week? No decks, just thoughts.

Cheers,
Anukriti
Co-founder, Pathsala

Thursday, 11:04 AM.
The Google Meet window opens. Split screen: she’s framed by a white wall and a rubber plant. He’s backlit, notebooks stacked behind him, headphones slightly lopsided.

There’s a beat of silence. Not awkward, just observant.

---

Her (lightly smiling):
“So. You do sound like your email.”

Anupam (half-grin):
“That’s a relief. I was worried I’d come off more composed than I actually am.”

She:
“You weren’t pitching. You were… narrating.”

Anupam:
“Most people pitch to be heard. I write to be felt. You responded, so I guess it worked.”

She:
“You said something about building ‘educational intimacy.’ What does that mean, to you?”

Anupam:
“It’s when a learner forgets they’re being taught. They’re not watching a video, they’re in dialogue—with their own curiosity. And they trust the voice guiding them. Not because it's flashy, but because it listens. Even when it speaks.”

She leans back, processing. Not the usual growth-metric chatter she’s used to.

She:
“And how do you scale that voice? That intimacy? We’re an EdTech startup—we think in thousands. Eventually millions.”

Anupam:
“You don’t scale the ‘feel.’ You distill it. Then you build content, design, even tech flows that preserve that emotional thread. People can binge glossy courses and remember nothing. But if a sentence hits them at the right time? That stays.”

Pause. She tilts her head slightly. He's not selling deliverables. He’s offering depth.

She:
“You think students care about tone?”

Anupam (without blinking):
“Tone is trust.”

She lets that hang.

She:
“So what would working with us look like? Hypothetically.”

Anupam:
“I’d spend two weeks just absorbing your platform. Watching how you speak to your users. Where you lose them. What you're afraid to say. Then I’d help you rebuild the emotional architecture—script, language, structure. From the inside.”

She (softly):
“You speak like you’re writing while you’re talking.”

Anupam (smiling):

“That’s because I am. I write for people I haven’t met yet. Sometimes, they show up on Zoom.” 

Subject: Still Thinking About That Call

Hi Anupam,

I don’t usually sit with a conversation after it ends. But this one lingers. Not because it was loud or persuasive—quite the opposite. It was... quiet. Focused. Like someone tuning an instrument, not trying to start a band.

You said something about distilling the feel rather than scaling the voice. I’ve been chewing on that. We’ve built tech. We’ve built traction. But what you described—educational intimacy, emotional architecture—those are the things we haven’t been able to prototype, let alone productize.

I don’t want to rush this. Let’s take one small step.
We’re working on a new module—a deceptively “dry” topic that needs a pulse.
I’d like you to reimagine it. Not redesign. Not rebrand. Just… breathe into it.
Let’s see what happens.

Let me know your bandwidth this week. And thank you—for not pitching, but showing.

Warmly,
Anukriti
Co-founder, Pathsala


...

[Phone rings]

Anupam (picking up):
Hello?

Her:
You don’t say “Hi, this is Anupam speaking”?

Anupam (grinning invisibly):
No, I assume I’m the only Anupam you’d call voluntarily on a weekday evening.

Her:
Touché. You write like that too—subtle arrogance camouflaged as charm.

Anupam:
I prefer “well-placed confidence soaked in restraint.”
But yes, I see your point.

Her (laughs softly):
Anyway, I was reading that learning module we spoke about. It’s clinical. Functional. Dead, to be honest.

Anupam:
So, you’re giving me a corpse?

Her:
With a heartbeat somewhere underneath. I’m hoping you find it.

Anupam:
I’ll bring a stethoscope and a matcha.

Her (pauses):
Wait, do you actually drink matcha?

Anupam:
I pretend to. It makes my thoughts feel greener.

Her:
And here I was thinking you were all black coffee and existential dread.

Anupam:
Matcha pairs surprisingly well with mild dread.

Her (smiling through the line):
Okay. I give up. Let’s meet. I want to see if you talk like this in person, or if you type with a ghostwriter.

Anupam:
Deal. One condition—I get to sit with my back to the wall. Keeps my metaphors aligned.

Her:
Fine. But I choose the place. Somewhere quiet. Somewhere with—
(beat)
—texture.

Anupam:
Now who’s ghostwriting?

---

Anupam had always known how to exit a moment too early. In conversations, in cities, in almost-love. So when the call with her ended, fourteen minutes ... he felt the exact shape of something unfinished tighten in his chest. Not regret. Something softer. The ache of potential.

She had laughed like she meant it. Not to flatter him. Not to fill the air. And he had let himself answer her without armor, without metaphor. That was the danger. When someone saw past the metaphors.

He didn’t text her that night. Or the next morning. The matcha meeting hung there, a possibility paused mid-sentence.

---

The first week passed with no message.

He read the module she sent. Scribbled some notes. Made three different rewrites. None of them were for her. They were for him, to prove he could still write with care, even when no one was watching.

She, on the other side, said nothing. She was not the chasing kind.

He tweeted at 1:39 AM:

“The problem with being seen too quickly is you haven’t built the walls yet.”

She read it. She knew.

---

The second week, Anupam spent mostly in silence. The apartment, once shared, now sounded different. No double toothbrush. No second pair of keys. His soon-to-be-ex wife had moved out, but the air still carried her stillness.

The divorce papers sat unopened on his shelf—next to a dying lily and a framed photo he refused to put away.

Meanwhile, she was pitching to a new fund. Clean deck. Tight narrative. A slide titled: “Emotional UX: Designing for Trust.”

One of the VCs interrupted: "But do users really feel when they learn? Or do they just want to pass?"

She smiled politely. “Tone is trust.”

And just like that, she remembered his voice.

---

Week three folded into itself. He wrote a full reply to her email. Poised. Honest. Slightly self-effacing. He deleted it.

She read his tweet:

"There’s a version of me that replies immediately. He’s still married. Still composed. Still lying."

She didn’t like it. Didn’t share it. But she read it twice.

---

On the twenty-second day, her message landed like a hand reaching across a dark room:

“Is three weeks long enough for a silent retreat? Or should I wait for mercury to exit retrograde?” “Matcha still on the table?”

His reply came forty-two minutes later.

“The silence needed to ferment. I’ve emerged less polished, more honest.” “Matcha. Let’s meet. Before I vanish into another playlist.”

---

They met on a day when the city smelled of damp concrete and unfinished promises. The café was quiet, almost curated for confessions. Two cups of matcha sat like green punctuation marks between them.

She wore a charcoal dress, minimal like her emails. He showed up in a white shirt, sleeves rolled, hair trying to look unbothered but failing in deliberate disarray.

They talked about everything except the silence that had stretched between them. Startups, content, the illusion of scale, Kadri Gopalnath, and why both hated buzzwords but loved late-night jazz.

And when the cups were empty, she said softly, “Hungry?”

He smiled. “Always.”

---

Dinner was not planned. It happened like good lines do: unexpected, inevitable!
A dimly lit bistro.
A table by the window.
Menus they barely read
because the real appetite was elsewhere,
in the edges of sentences,
in the pauses that hummed louder than words.

She ordered pasta. He ordered a drink he couldn’t pronounce without sounding like he was auditioning for pretension. They laughed about that for five minutes too long.

Somewhere between the first bite and the last pour, the conversation stopped performing. They spoke about the things people hide in parentheses—her father’s obsession with minimalism, his unfinished novel that wasn’t really unfinished, just afraid of endings.

When the bill came, neither reached for it immediately. It wasn’t about the credit card. It was about not wanting the night to clock out.

Outside, the city’s air had that 11 PM hush—a soft permission to keep walking.

And as they did, side by side, their shadows aligned on the pavement like two sentences that didn’t need conjunctions.

Matcha had been the excuse. This...this was the beginning!

PS : Did you realise, that this fictional work is a result of a collaboration. That's AI!

Do you Need Sleep? & How Much of it do you Need?

The idea that everyone needs around eight hours of sleep is a common belief; the truth is more nuanced. The amount of sleep needed varies from person to person. For some, just four to five hours of sleep is sufficient, while others might need eight to ten hours to function well. There’s even a genetic component to this variation, although the exact mechanism isn't fully understood.

Understanding Sleep Requirements:
There isn't a clear, straightforward answer to why some people thrive on less sleep while others need more. Scientists have several hypotheses about why we need sleep. One theory is that sleep helps flush out toxic materials that build up in the brain throughout the day. Another suggests that sleep plays a crucial role in sorting and storing the memories we accumulate daily. Despite these theories, the fundamental reasons behind our need for sleep remains a mystery.

The Consequences of Sleep Deprivation:
What is clear, however, is the importance of sleep for our well-being. Lack of sleep can lead to irritability and, if prolonged, more severe issues like hallucinations. People can start to dream while awake, blurring the lines between reality & imagination. These effects highlight the critical role sleep plays in maintaining our mental health & overall functioning.

Can Meditation Replace Sleep?
Some people wonder if meditation can replace sleep. While meditation has many benefits, such as improving focus and relaxation, it cannot substitute for the restorative functions of sleep. Meditation helps train the mind to focus and clear out distractions, but sleep is essential for physical and mental recovery.

Focus and Meditation:
The relationship between focus and meditation is interesting. On one hand, practicing meditation can enhance your ability to focus. On the other hand, having a good focus can make meditation more effective. Expert meditators often report that having a strong ability to concentrate is crucial for deep meditation. It's a bit like a cycle: the more you meditate, the better your focus becomes, and the better your focus, the more you can meditate effectively.

Defining Focus:
Focus can be understood as the ability to concentrate on a single thought or task while filtering out distractions. In meditation, focus involves clearing your mind of all thoughts or concentrating on a single object or your breath. Over time, practicing meditation can help you master the skill of focus.

 
Learning Focus Through Meditation:
Just as learning advanced physics requires mastering calculus, becoming skilled in meditation requires developing strong focus. Initially, a person might only be able to meditate or focus for a minute. However, with consistent practice, the duration can gradually increase. This parallel development means that as you improve your focus, your ability to meditate also strengthens. 

In conclusion, while the idea that everyone needs eight hours of sleep is a myth, the amount of sleep required varies from person to person. Understanding why we need sleep and how much we need is still an ongoing area of research. Meanwhile, meditation, while beneficial, cannot replace sleep but can enhance focus, which in turn can improve meditation practice. By recognising the interconnectedness of sleep, focus, and meditation, we can better appreciate the importance of each in maintaining our overall health and well-being.

Three Vitals of Human Body : Blood, Electrical Signals & Oxygen

Did you know that not every cell in our body gets replaced every few years?
It's a common belief, but some cells stay with us for life. Neurons, the cells in our brain, are a prime example.
While most of our body's cells renew periodically—some daily, others monthly—neurons are unique. They remain from birth until death, and their connections shape our reality and consciousness. Some even consider neurons as a representation of the soul due to their enduring presence and essential role in our experiences.

Maintaining healthy neurons is crucial for overall brain health. The brain is a significant energy consumer, using about 20% of our body's energy. Proper nutrition is vital, especially for brain development in children. Malnutrition can lead to severe brain development issues, underscoring the importance of a balanced diet rich in essential nutrients. Additionally, engaging in activities like exercise, solving puzzles, and learning new skills can keep our neurons active and healthy; These activities stimulate the brain, helping to form new neural connections and maintain cognitive function.

Neurons extend far beyond the brain. They are integral to our nervous system, which connects the brain to the entire body through the spinal cord and nerves. This network of neurons enables communication between the brain and various body parts, ensuring our body functions as a cohesive unit.

The nervous system, composed of neurons with long extensions called axons, reaches every part of our body through the spinal cord and peripheral nerves.

Our body's systems are interconnected in fascinating ways. The circulatory system, for instance, is crucial for delivering oxygen and nutrients to every part of the body, including the brain. Recent studies have highlighted the connection between our digestive system and brain health, known as the gut-brain axis. Changes in digestion can impact brain function, suggesting that we should study the body as an integrated whole rather than in isolation. Understanding these connections can provide deeper insights into how our body works and how different systems influence each other.

Interestingly, our body's systems operate using different mediums: the nervous system relies on electrical signals, the circulatory system uses blood, and the respiratory system depends on air(oxygen). This closely resembles, rather mirrors traditional medicine systems like Ayurveda, which conceptualise the body through elements and imbalances, known as Doshas. Ayurveda emphasises the balance of these elements for maintaining health, and its principles are gaining scientific attention.

A new field called Ayurgenomics is emerging to bridge Ayurveda with modern genetics. This interdisciplinary approach aims to find genetic bases for Ayurvedic doshas, validating traditional wisdom through scientific methods. If Ayurgenomics can demonstrate the genetic underpinnings of Ayurvedic concepts and the efficacy of certain traditional medicines, it could lead to broader acceptance and integration within the international medical community.
Many people already rely on Ayurvedic medicines, and some compounds have been found to be genuinely effective. Therefore, unbiased studies are essential to understand the genetic foundations and benefits of these traditional remedies.

In conclusion, our body is a marvel of interconnected systems and enduring cells. While most cells renew regularly, neurons remain our lifelong companions, playing a crucial role in our cognitive and emotional lives. Understanding how to maintain brain health, recognising the interconnectedness of bodily systems, and exploring new fields like Ayurgenomics are essential steps towards a holistic understanding of human health. As research continues, bridging traditional and modern medicine may unlock new dimensions in healthcare, benefiting us all.

Is their a Neuroscience of Manifestation & law of Attraction?

In his fascinating book "The Brain," neuroscientist David Eagleman delves into the intricacies of how our brain makes decisions; Understanding this process reveals how the brain works ahead of us, simulating future scenarios and assessing our potential feelings about them. This concept isn't just about scientific curiosity; it connects deeply with popular ideas like the Law of Attraction and manifestation.

The Decision-Making Process:
Eagleman explains that our brain is constantly running simulations of possible futures. When faced with decisions, whether small (like choosing between biking or taking a cab to work) or significant (like career changes), the brain projects forward the likely outcomes based on options under consideration. In effect, imagines various states and evaluates how we would feel about each one. This "gut check" mechanism helps us make choices that align with what we expect will make us feel good.

Future Simulations and Gut Checks:
At every moment, we have numerous options. Our brain narrows these options by predicting future emotions. It performs a heuristic simulation, a sort of mental shortcut, to forecast our feelings. This process intends to optimise our expected future feelings. Essentially, our brain's goal is to guide us to choose the path that it predicts will lead to the most favourable emotional state.

The Connection with 'Law of Attraction':
The idea of future simulations and gut checks in neuroscience is strikingly similar to the principles behind the Law of Attraction and Manifestation Philosophy; Internet gurus promoting these concepts often advise visualising the future and 'feeling the feelings' associated with achieving those desires. They suggest that by feeling as if your goals are already accomplished, you can attract those outcomes into your life.

Visualisation and Expected Feelings:
Both Neuroscience and Manifestation principles emphasise the importance of future feelings. Neuroscience explains that our brain's decision-making process involves predicting how we will feel about future events. Law of Attraction philosophy advises visualising and emotionally experiencing your desired future. This alignment suggests a scientific basis for why visualisation and manifestation techniques might be effective.

Neuroscience Backing Manifestation:
Understanding this link provides a new perspective on Manifestation techniques. It suggests that these practices might be grounded in the way our brain naturally functions. When you visualise and emotionally engage with your goals, you are essentially doing what your brain does when making decisions- optimising for expected positive feelings.

David Eagleman's book "The Brain" offers a wealth of information about how our brain works. It's not just a technical manual; it's a story about US, our evolution, and the future of AI & Humanity. The book is full of insights into the brain's mechanisms and its role in our lives.

Eagleman's exploration of neuroscience provides valuable context for understanding human behaviour and decision-making. By reading this book, you gain a deeper appreciation of how our brain shapes our experiences and choices. It's a compelling read for anyone interested in the intersection of science, psychology, and personal development.

Conclusion:
The connection between neuroscience & 'Law of Attraction' highlights the power of our brain's decision-making process; By simulating future scenarios and predicting our feelings, our brain guides us towards choices that align with our emotional well-being. This scientific understanding enriches our perspective on manifestation techniques, suggesting that they may be more than just pseudoscience—they may be rooted in the fundamental workings of our brain.

For those intrigued by these ideas, "The Brain" by David Eagleman is a must-read. It offers a comprehensive look at how our brain functions, shedding light on the fascinating processes that drive our decisions and shape our lives. By exploring this book, you can gain insights that not only enhance your knowledge of neuroscience but also enrich your approach to personal growth and decision-making.

Recipe to Mindfulness

In our fast-paced world, getting more done in a short amount of time and staying motivated for mundane tasks can seem challenging. The key to achieving both lies in understanding how our perception of time changes as we grow older and how mindfulness can help us reclaim our focus.



When we're kids, a year feels like a long time because we're constantly absorbing new experiences. Every day is filled with wonder, and our senses are heightened to everything happening around us. As adults, our minds are often preoccupied with worries about the future or memories of the past. This leaves only a small fraction of our attention for the present moment. Consequently, time seems to fly by because we aren't fully engaged with what's happening now.

Our desensitisation to the sensory inputs contributes to this phenomenon. We receive so much data from the outside world that we stop appreciating the small, everyday moments. The solution to this problem lies in mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the practice of being fully aware of this moment, and it can significantly improve our productivity and motivation.

To become more mindful, we need to customise mindfulness techniques to fit our unique needs. Simply following any generic advice from gurus or books won't be effective unless we understand why we need mindfulness and how it can help us. Think about the last time you ate a piece of chocolate or an ice cream and truly savoured the experience; In that moment, everything else disappeared, and you were completely immersed in the pleasure of eating. This is the essence of mindfulness—being fully engaged in whatever you're doing.

One effective way to practice mindfulness is to become fully immersed in your current activities. This might sound abstract at first, but it means giving your complete attention to whatever task you're doing, whether it's washing dishes, writing a report, or having a conversation. By focusing entirely on the present moment, you'll find that time slows down, and you can enjoy the task at hand.

Mindfulness techniques are like templates that need to be personalised. For example, meditation, yoga, and deep-breathing exercises are common mindfulness practices, but they won't work for everyone in the same way.
You might need to experiment with different techniques to find what resonates with you. The goal is to understand your mind and what kind of customisation it needs to stay focused and relaxed.

When you practice mindfulness, you'll notice that your productivity increases because you're working at your peak performance. At the same time, you'll be able to relax more deeply because your mind isn't cluttered with distracting thoughts about the past or future. Mindfulness helps you strike a balance between work and relaxation, making both more enjoyable and effective.

In summary, getting more done in less time and staying motivated for mundane tasks is possible through mindfulness. By appreciating the present moment and immersing ourselves fully in our activities, we can slow down our perception of time and increase our focus.

Customising mindfulness techniques to suit our personal needs can lead to a more fulfilling and productive life.
Remember, the journey to mindfulness is personal, and finding your own path will help you achieve peak performance and relaxation.

Calmness of the Quest

The girl was chanting an ancient esoteric mantra, sitting in a serene pose, letting the sea breeze and tiny droplets adorn her presence. 

A middle aged man who was strolling along the beach got pulled towards her silhouette.

He didn't try to intervene the meditative trance of the girl who looked surreal.
He sat beside the girl, careful not to disturb her communion with the divine. 

The girl after few minutes, rubbed her palms, opened her eyes, and looked at the man. The man felt the powerful gaze of the girl peering at his soul.

The girl offered the man few sweetmeats, which he gladly accepted and started to relish.

Man : I felt immense calm emanating from you. Apologies, for intruding into your space.

Girl : No Problem. It's the divine will.

Man : How long, have you been chanting?

Girl : Since the sun shone on the shore. 

Man : Hahaaa. I meant when was the first time you chanted or meditated?

Girl : Since the sun shone on the shore. Maybe you are trying to put the time-space continuum on my tendencies. Anyway, let's first understand your motivations to engage with me.

Man : I don't have any

Girl : Are you sure?

Man : I am financially abundant. I have all the luxuries of life. I came to the beach for calmness. Looking at you I am tempted to surmise that you are an embodiment of calmness. Hence, I am still here. Are you content with your life? What do you do?

Girl : Let's unpack one thing at a time. So, financial accomplishments have failed to provide you the serenity which you are seeking here. And, to your surprise you also have an epiphany that due to the luxuries of your life you are driven to seek peace. So, you are grateful for your material gifts and that has enabled you to this quest of calmness.

Man : Indeed!

Girl : Can you flip your journey?

Man : What do you mean?

Girl : There is a calmness in this quest. Calmness resides in the quest of calmness. 

Man : This sounds like a play of words. Yet, I might have got your message.

Girl : Sir! In this quest you will cross few levels. Keen Observation, Introspection, Awareness, Mindfulness. This is the Quest.

Man : When we observe, it's sometimes unsettling and we lose grip with mindfulness. 

Girl : In Bhagavad Gita, Shri Krishna says, 
"asanśhayaṁ mahā-bāho mano durnigrahaṁ chalam
abhyāsena tu kaunteya vairāgyeṇa cha gṛihyate"

O mighty-armed son of Kunti, what you say is correct; the mind is indeed very difficult to restrain. But by practice and detachment, it can be controlled.

So, Sir! Practise.

The man bowed down in reverence towards the wise girl. As, he stood up, the beach was devoid of any human existence till his eyesight could gaze. The girl had vanished in broad daylight.

The man kept questioning the encounter. Was he dreaming? He wasn't.

Like all pleasant experiences, he thought, "let me stay with the message & its feeling". This is my calmness.
Calmness of the Quest.

How the Brain Makes You - You! The Brain - The Story of You by David Eagleman

If you're fascinated by the inner workings of the brain and how it shapes your identity, "The Brain" by David Eagleman is a must-read. This book offers an accessible and engaging exploration of neuroscience, unraveling the complex processes that define who we are.

Understanding the Self:
One of the intriguing aspects of Eagleman's  book “The Brain: The Story of You”  is his exploration of how our brain shapes our perceptions and experiences, essentially making us who we are. He delves into the idea that our identity is not a fixed entity but a constantly evolving one, influenced by our interactions with the world around us. This notion resonates deeply, as it underscores the dynamic nature of the self and the profound impact of our experiences on our personality and life. 

Author's Motivation and Approach:
In the initial pages, Eagleman shares his motivation for writing the book and producing a parallel TV series. His childhood, spent more with Carl Sagan documentaries than typical TV shows, fueled his curiosity about the brain. Eagleman is intrigued by why people are so engrossed in activities that might not seem crucial from a neurological standpoint. This curiosity drives him to explore whether our distractions are a result of our brain's wiring or something else.

Experiments and Insights:
Eagleman doesn't just present findings; he also takes readers behind the scenes, explaining the experiments that led to these discoveries. This approach not only makes complex scientific concepts easier to understand but also highlights the meticulous process behind each breakthrough. For those interested in the scientific method, this adds an extra layer of appreciation.

Philosophical and Spiritual Dimensions:
Interestingly, Eagleman touches on philosophical and spiritual questions as well. He suggests that the search for a definitive "you" is futile because our identity is always in flux. This idea, though rooted in neuroscience, has a spiritual resonance. It challenges readers to rethink their understanding of the self and consider the ever-changing nature of their identity.

Personal Reflections:
My own journey with "The Brain" started from a lifelong fascination with how our minds work. The subtitle, "The Story of You," instantly grabbed my attention. Eagleman's ability to make complex experiments relatable and understandable is remarkable. As I read, I found myself contemplating not just the scientific aspects but also the deeper questions about what makes us who we are.
The book's exploration of identity, perception, and consciousness is profound. It offers readers a chance to reflect on their own experiences and how their brains shape their reality. By blending neuroscience with philosophical inquiry, Eagleman provides a comprehensive look at the human experience.

Conclusion:
"The Brain" by David Eagleman is more than just a popular science book; it's a journey into understanding ourselves. By merging scientific rigor with philosophical musings, Eagleman creates a narrative that is both informative and thought-provoking. Whether you're a science enthusiast or someone seeking to understand the essence of identity, this book offers valuable insights. It's a reminder that our brains are not just organs but the very essence of who we are, constantly evolving with each experience we encounter.

My Healing Journey - Should you Take Therapy?

The past 18 months have been rough for me; to say the least.

I have been to Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Healers, Therapists, Activity Groups, Astrologers,Psychics, Tarot Card Readers, etc.

My first therapy session began with me saying, "I am unhappy yet I don't know the reason. I have a high paying respectable job which offers me work-life balance. I have no family obligations. I have no rift with anyone. At the outset, nothing seems awry. Still! I am morose and have a melancholic outlook towards life. What's wrong with me?"

And in the last therapy session 3-4 months back, I said that I am happy and I don't know the reason.

That seemed like a full circle.
When I narrated the above to a Spiritual healer, she was enraptured.

No, I didn't have any clinical symptoms. I was perfectly fine. Yet, I was not well. 
The phase also marked the end of a journey. It wasn't easy for me.

Around 13 years back, when my mother had died of a prolonged illness, I was shook from my foundation. I had lost all zeal to live. I remember saying to my flatmate and co-worker that, "it seems like my 'जठराग्नि' has got doused by the loss of my birth-giver."
Few years later, one of my closest friends reminded me of that phase of life and said that if I could survive that phase of my life, I can see through any small setback like a 'bad breakup'.
This has stuck with me ever since.

If I can see through the loss of my mother, the only person I admired & adored at the same time, I can definitely weather through any storm in life.

I am reminded of few lines from Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood, 
“No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. No truth, no sincerity, no strength, no kindness can cure that sorrow. All we can do is see it through to the end and learn something from it, but what we learn will be no help in facing the next sorrow that comes to us without warning.”

Seems like life is a series of Cathartic episodes. 

Truth being told, there was a phase in life, when I was unable to take shower as the mere act of closing my eyes and putting my head to the flow of cold water scared me to the bones. 
I have gone through that phase. It is in my past, now. Thankfully! I am full of gratitude to all the professionals I worked with and the blessings of the divine. As without the grace of the ever merciful, not a single leaf flutters even in a raging tempest.
Jai Sri Hari!

You may ask what worked for me?
Let me lay down the 4 tenets of healing:

1. You are not responsible for your suffering. Maybe!
2. There is no shortcut to healing journey
3. Your friends & family are ill-equipped to support you in healing
4. Always consult an Expert Practitioner. Psychiatrists, Psychologists, etc.

So, you may ask, "Should you take therapy?"
Yes!
By all means.
I am a proponent of universal talk therapy; a space where you get to bare all your ramblings & demons from the deep recess of your hearth of emotions & thoughts.  
You need the expertise and a non-judgemental space to pour out your feelings. Merely talking things out sometimes works like magic in breaking the patterns that ensnare your mind. 
So, how do you find an effective mental health expert?
Let me think and write another post.

Have you seen the movie : "Bhool Bhulaiyaa" ?

Life is series of Cathartic episodes - Fursat by Vishal Bhardwaj

Life is series of Cathartic episodes.

As 2023 started, I watched Fursat, a film Shot on iPhone 14 Pro by Vishal Bhardwaj.
Before you think this post is a movie review, wait!
I won't divulge anything about Fursat. 

Watching this film, triggered few dormant, ungerminated emotions inside me. I went into a state of reminiscence. This made me jump from one episode of my life to the next, realising that we don't really move from sorrow to serenity, it's only sojourn which halts us! Then catharsis follows, it heals you, it makes you another person.

Now, another note : The film has nothing to do with nostalgia, healing or melancholy. That's how catalysts work. 

Life goes on, we are a creature of habit & adjust to all hardships, to go through a series of cathartic episodes and keep healing and evolving!

Well, on a slightly unrelated note, crying is also good for health. And, crying is part of Catharsis too! 

The Worth of an Option

What do you need to recuperate from, after the death of a loved one? And, what does society offer you the luxury of?



Almost towards the end of Norwegian Wood, the main protagonist runs away into the hills to recover from the loss of a person with whom he shared a difficult relationship. 
We all lose people. People we love, people we care about, people we want to hold onto. And, sometimes we feel their worth, their importance, once there is no way they can walk back.
"The dead remain dead." 

When you lose someone and it triggers an unusual feeling in you, a confused state. A state which shouts at you, "You never cared about the existence of this person. Yet their departure, their ultimate absence is gnawing you from inside."
This is the loss of option. 
Now, you longer have that person.
Now, you can't muster up the courage to resurrect them back into your life. This death of an option is more palpable than the death of the person. This is how some people go away, their involvement in our lives, is categorically more important than them as a person!
Such a tragedy! It is!

Some people die early, some people die alone, some people don't die, only their worth as an option dies, as they were long dead much before their body succumbed. They were dead for the people they considered to be the most important people in their life. This is unfair. Is life fair?

I Heard Everything

When I was in class 4, I was in the swing(Jhula) like just another toddler experiencing the new found joy of oscillatory motion.
Going back & forth, with full gusto!



My uncles broached a sensitive topic. They started talking in English, oblivious of the fact that kids of my age could also understand English.
 That was just so naive, on multiple levels! I heard everything.
Yet I didn’t respond or react. I kept enjoying my swing.

 Maybe I learnt to selectively not respond from this incident!

                             
I met Purna, while she was almost about to alight from the metro train. It was not out of the blue. We had coordinated that, to the T.



I just didn’t give her the agency she deserved. In the hopes of bringing fun, to the otherwise mundane lives of ours, I chose spontaneity.

I’ve always fancied my choice of spontaneity & extempore, over the carefully curated version of life & speech led by most folks. Of course, excess of most things are/is bad!
I just feel that we might have exceptions to this thumb-rule quite often than we realise.



So, Purna was visibly a bit displeased.
 Perhaps, she had something else planned in her mental itinerary. 

We kept on talking on our metro ride back to the place where I thought it would be more appropriate to spend some meaningful time.


She kept on bringing new conversation pointers, and I got immersed in them. It was as if I was trying to hold arrows coming towards me in a basket.


And, she started to complain that either am I not listening to her or I have a hearing problem.

How do I tell her that 'I heard everything', I noticed everything, I took all the cues. I just chose not to respond to everything or at times I just wanted to confirm what she said.
Maybe to give her a chance to rephrase or choose a different topic to broach. Makes Sense?

I heard her joke about the 'fallen bread slice'.
'Kitna Gira Hua hai!' (How fallen is this slice of bread!)

I listened to the joke, smiled mentally, savoured it and didn't show any reaction.
She was unhappy about my lack of acknowledgement. 
As if, I am just not interested in the conversation.

She wanted to know. She wanted the feedback. Did she also want approval? My approval?
Why so? Who am I? And, what does my approval mean to her?

Of course, if it was Validation which she was seeking, I'm at fault. Validation when sought, must be provided. I have learnt this from her.

Purna (पूर्णा or पूर्ण) in Hindi means Complete. She is complete. So, why she seeks my approval or anyone's approval?

Yes, I must hear everything what she says. I must listen to her like an obedient student. I must give her the agency, the power of choice when she deserves it.
We all keep learning & evolving. Maybe we are not  पूर्ण yet!

Of course! I heard Everything, Purna!

PS : Work of fiction
PPS : “Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.” - Mark Twain

The Accidental Everything

Don't get me wrong! I have traversed a whole lot of distance away from identifying myself as anything.
For the utilitarian sake of setting context, when I was a toddler, an Astrologer told that I would either become a Judge or a Doctor.

"Are these Respected People?" I asked my Uncle

The answer no longer feels relevant to mention it here.
Decades later after a series of missteps, mostly likely resembling brownian motion I have become 'Accidental Everything!'

Engineer - This didn't put a morsel on my plate!
Banker - I always liked Maths & Money; was only a fling!
Teacher - This was the closest I was to finding something to settle down with!
Economist - I never knew I could like this subject; now I can't switch off the Economist's Lens
Statistician - When the world was finding Data Science as the sexiest Career; I found my calling!

And on 77th Independence Day, I have to revisit my rumination of 2020!
How accidental it feels to live in a country as diverse as India, the largest democracy. Almost crucifies one of the most fundamental underpinnings of Microeconomics (& Political Science) - Arrow's impossibility theorem.

As of 2023, 'Voting' still remains the means to the end of Democratic outcome. Is it flawed or not, is another question altogether. 

As an idealist 20-something, Nationalism sounded too straightjacketed to associate with.
With passage of time, my perspective has shifted. Amidst the chaos, it's still a wonder that we are one of the most promising emerging markets!

If you look closely & a bit cynically, you might call it the 'Number Crumble'.
Our geographical extent & the scale of its inhabitants, are enough to salivate any western Capitalist.

Market! Market! Market!

Investors invariably think in terms of how big is the 'Market Size'? How big of that pie can we capture?

India, or more acceptable these days, Bharat is much more than its market, people or diversity.

India is the only Wonder...ergo...Bharat Bumps all Bullies of the West!

Happy 77th Independence Day!

Alternative Kafkaesque

Franz Kafka's most famous Metamorphosis is widely remembered as a Man who turned into a giant insect.
Is this what Kafka meant? Is this an exotic style of writing? Or was it just a metaphor lost in translation.
Most of Kafka's Novels/Stories feel like a weird world. Readers take everything literally, and they don't even consider the point of view that it could be just a way of Kafka; a technique to tell his stories.
Like Orwell's Animal Farm.

I personally used to read Kafka because of the technique of Kafkaesque, not because of the underlying intention of the writer.
On careful rumination, it feels that Kafka is just writing about contemporary issues with his own style, with his own uses of metaphors, by creating his own world of expressions.
Much like the Vector Spaces of Linear Algebra, where you could construct 5-D which can't be visualised yet the mathematics would be tractable.
Similarly, Kafka's work could have been an imagined literary space with an underlying contemporaneous issue.

This can be appreciated more if we understand how Mathematicians & Physicists look at the same things quite differently.
Abstract Vs Applied!   

Philosophy of Love - What do I know about Love?

Most people in love, proclaim : -He/She is the one -This is the best thing that has happened to me -I have never felt like this and will never feel like this, again in my life

None of the above statements have the gravity to last long. It's just a concoction of hormones, childhood issues, availability & desperation, that makes people feel so utopic about their state of mind.

People in love idolise the other person, they want to see everything from a rose-tinted glass. Each and every inadequacy or shortcomings appear kitschy, endearing & cute.

What really has happened is that they have found a sense of assurance, comfort, and a non-judgmental sphere. The sphere in which they want to coalesce together.

Now, if they really wanted to become one, they started with two ones, they joined themselves into one! Is this really necessary?

Now, you may say they have physical, emotional & dare I say, psychological needs. Yes! You are in the appropriate direction. This is ‘Need’!

Our ‘needs’ camouflage in the form of love.

Now, if I may ask, What is love? What do you love about the other person? Or Why do you love them? Stop! Don’t Answer! Any answer or even an attempt to answer these questions mean you don’t love them!

Love is not dependent on reasons, love is not a means but an end in itself.
Well! What do I know about love, you may ask!
Don’t you think even I happen to have the above mentioned follies in me?
Yes! I have fallen head over heels not once but … leave it at that
And, each time I felt enamoured in a new way altogether!

Truth Time!
You only love, truly! You only love yourself! Everything else is just our inadequacies, lack of connection with the self, finding a refuge in another person!

You will have to take my word for it!

Is Recession Nearby? : Recession & Inflation – Relationship Explained

Recession and Inflation – Relationship explained

While there seemed to be a sudden spike of enthusiasm among the youth on investment decisions, the World Back became a killjoy with regard to this optimistic environment. Lay-offs became a leading light in the current economic condition as companies started looking for every means to survive this downturn until sales spike up to dependable conditions.
All of this accounts to economic slump called ‘Recession’.

To comprehend what exactly is happening, we’ll figure out the two buzzwords in the market at the moment: Inflation & Recession.

The gist of rise in inflation is in its cyclical behaviour, meaning, when there is a lot of economic activity in the form of sudden spurt in production and the industries seem to be set up in plenty. As a result, the economy booms or let’s say, overheats. (See the video above)

Why? There’s a substantial increase in income generation and at the same time the Central Bank also starts printing money in the initial stages. Subsequently, the economy observes a rise in price level which therefore turns out to be inflationary. When this inflation kicks in, the Central Bank tries to bring down the supply of money by increasing the interest rate.
This automatically reduces the money supply since the demand for money increases and consequently the economic activity reduces.
This is because the investors start chasing interest rates and not economic activity. So, when this happens, economic activity slows down and inflation declines. Hence, Cyclical!
Sounds simple right? Well not really.

This reduction in money supply is fertile for recession which happens due to fall in economic activity. What could be the possible reason for this recession? An idea is that, a boom in the economy results in inflation, and when you try to control inflation, you have a dip or slump called recession. Recession is commonly defined as the two consecutive quarters of economic contraction. “It is a significant decline in economic activity that is spread across the economy and lasts  more than a few months.”, defines the National Bureau of Economic Research.

The effects of recession might quite possibly amplify the effects of inflation although it is in the cooling period. Since recession is roughly the slowdown of economic activity, businesses struggle to keep their head above water and lay off employees to curtail expenses until the resumption of reliable economic activity. Since labor is one of the crucial factors of economic activity, there will be a spike in unemployment.
And, this will last about a few months or up until the output that has plunged among businesses goes up significantly.

Punardarśanāya (पुनर्दर्शनाय)

Goodbye is a misnomer. How can be parting any good?
Only, if you had said Good-riddance, it would have made sense.
What we like, we always wish to postpone its departure.

You see, life goes on, we feel that a phase of life, a moment, could be captured and relived as many times as we can, or worse, we wish to freeze moments and live forever in moments; life doesn't work like this expectation of ours!

We always need to let go of 

I'm reminded of this famous line, "I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go..."

The intention of a 'Goodbye' in my mind & heart, is : It was great to spend time with you, I wish you the best, take good care of yourself!
And, you just let go of the sight, touch & physical presence. How? How are we supposed to take good care of ourselves in the absence of what kept us ticking, what motivated us from the troughs of our menial existence? How?

Perhaps, we could pack it up with hope? Let's do it sooner (and mean it!)

पुनर्दर्शनाय! (Punardarśanāya)

A Clean Slate

Human beings are more than nature or nurturing.
Every human comes with immense potential to make everything a reality, whatever he/she can think and put his/her attention towards.

Now, all of us, are surrounded by so much noise of society, its bundle of one-size-fits all processes & guides, that we cease to access our own individual source of authenticity. We start becoming copy of a copy of a copy, that too with our individuality smeared across each copy!
Who gains? 
Greed of Society!
Who loses?
Need of Society!

“He, who has a why to live for, can bear with almost any how.” - Viktor Frankl

Each one of us, have different 'Why's', our own 'Why'!
Once we figure that out, we can write any script on our clean slate. Yes, we need to erase every impression of the societal conditioning before we can start chalking about our life plans. We need to seek originality, this requires utmost honesty with our true self; which is the 'clean slate'. You can be whatever you put your thoughts, intentions & actions to.
There is no need lamenting your flaws, lack of privilege, unique circumstances or any such constraints, which seem to bind your tether to the state of inertia. Your authenticity stems from your rough edges, so stop seeking that ideal situation!

I do understand that we all have different abilities & Pātrata, it's wise to understand what could give us the maximum returns for our labour & time, that being said, it's just a constraint, nobody can stop someone who has decided not to quit! 

Suji ka Halwa - A Lady's Act of Sincerity!

My Mother used to care a lot about people in the community. 
I'm biased, she was my mother, that doesn't discount the fact that she was a great human being, and unmatchable in her cooking skills. 

So, it happened once. One of her acquaintances, was in hospital. I am not able to recall the cause of Aunty's hospital stay but it wasn't major.                                                                 

My mother expressed her desire to pack freshly prepared Suji ka Halwa and visit the Aunty. My father wasn't particularly excited about the idea, as he had to go office.

So, what would you expect such a lady to do? Picture this! It's late 90s, small mining township, no mode of public transport. Only option my mother was left with was to walk few Kms with the Halwa.

Yet she didn't give up the idea!
She was like that!

There were ample incidents when she went out of her way to serve people irrespective of their social standing & whether her act would be considered as one of kindness or just go in vain.

The bottomline of her life would be : She went thankless & left her body too soon! 

Boon of Unanswerable Questions

I was a perennial problem to my School teachers. My stream of questions never seem to run out of supply. No amount of answers could quench my urge to ask questions. When it had started I was jokingly called the "जिज्ञासु" - one who is curious and asks a lot of questions.
This soon turned into a nightmare for the teachers.

In a class about Earth's Revolution, I asked why Earth revolves? Why Sun doesn't revolve? Once a teacher was explaining L.C.M. of 2,4 is 4 and H.C.F. is 2. I asked if L.C.M. is greater than H.C.F., why the full form of L.C.M. starts with lowest and full form of H.C.F. starts with highest?

My questions were not worth entertaining, it seemed.

After this harrowing experience with my questions, the teachers hatched a plan.
'Sharma Sir, Let's dispatch जिज्ञासु to the well of puzzles' said Mishra Sir.
''Well of puzzles'? That room which is full of questions in the form of puzzles?' asked Sharma Sir.
'Yes, and no one has ever come out of it' confirmed Mishra Sir.

'जिज्ञासु, you remember you wanted to know why Sun doesn't revolve?' 
'Yes, Mishra Sir', I replied.

I was then sent to a mysterious room. It was dark. It had one big Welcome button. I pressed it. A big screen of 10 questions popped and to the right a cage became visible.

Inside the cage, there were ~24 people. 
"These are the people who couldn't answer my questions", echoed a voice

"What are those questions?" I asked
"You idiot, can't you see the puzzles on your screen?"

"Ok, sir"
"Do you want me to answer them?"

"Duh!"

"Okay, Sir can I ask for clarifications?" I politely inquired.

"Of course"

"These idiots in the cage, never asked for any clarifications. They thought they are too smart. None of them could answer all the puzzles correctly" explained the Voice.

I started reading the puzzles.
I don't remember any puzzle, though.

I started asking for clarifications. The clarifications extended for hours. After every clarification, I used to ask follow-up questions. And, it went for 6-7 hours. It seemed that the Voice really liked talking and no one had ever asked him any questions ever.

The voice (of whomever it was) was extremely relaxed and became pleased with me.
"जिज्ञासु! I am elated after talking to you my child!"
"I would like to give you a boon and I will free you as well from this room"

"What is the boon, Sir?"
"Oh! Come on!"

After that I woke up in my bed. I felt like I was sleeping for days. I woke up and immediately went to my mother.

"Mummy! Why am I in home?"
She looked puzzled.

I changed my clothes and went out for playing with my friends. Everything was like before except for one.

Whenever, I used to ask any question, no one ever had answers to them. To my surprise, few hours later, few days later, I used to find the answers in a mysterious way.




Sometimes I used to find answers, while a flock of birds were flying in the shape of alphabets which formed an answer. One time, I was looking at my plate, the neatly arranged morsels formed an answer.
Other times, the answers were whispered in my ear, while I was sleeping.

So, that was the story of how I got the 'boon of unanswerable questions'. Hmm, not really unanswerable if you ask me!

PS : Work of Fiction, inspired by a mythological anecdote
PPS : Can you guess the mythological reference?
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How to Understand Death?

What?
Now, that you have put me on the pedestal, let me be audacious & sermonise.

Once every few years, keep changing your situation. Meaning, change the place where you live, change where you work, bid adieu to your favourite eatery, ... you get the drift?

So, this is what happened.
I went to submit laptop to my previous employer. While I was in the cab, this thought dawned upon me. Isn't this exit process & formalities similar to the death rituals or rather I would say, अंतिम संस्कार (Antim Sanskar)?

Once you let that feeling seep into you, it's no turning back. You feel drastically different about the same building, same security, same reception, ... everything stays the way it has always been. And, it will be like that for a long time to come. Alas! you would be no more. You would have bid your time, now it's your turn to spread your wings. Now, it's your turn to fly into the next phase.

I understand we miss our colleagues, and we soon find new ones. Ultimately, it all feels like a rite of passage. The less we were attached to our old friends in the old company, it has lesser impact.

How beautiful it would be if we could feel the same for our body, friends, family, belongings...One day we will die, leave all of this behind. 

Do you miss your old childhood school? Old childhood friends? College?
Of course, Yes!
And, deep down you know that you have grown up and grown out of those experiences & emotions.

Ultimately death knocks on all doors!

You are closer to death than you were before reading this blog post.
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