My Healing Journey - Should you Take Therapy?

The past 18 months have been rough for me; to say the least.

I have been to Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Healers, Therapists, Activity Groups, Astrologers,Psychics, Tarot Card Readers, etc.

My first therapy session began with me saying, "I am unhappy yet I don't know the reason. I have a high paying respectable job which offers me work-life balance. I have no family obligations. I have no rift with anyone. At the outset, nothing seems awry. Still! I am morose and have a melancholic outlook towards life. What's wrong with me?"

And in the last therapy session 3-4 months back, I said that I am happy and I don't know the reason.

That seemed like a full circle.
When I narrated the above to a Spiritual healer, she was enraptured.

No, I didn't have any clinical symptoms. I was perfectly fine. Yet, I was not well. 
The phase also marked the end of a journey. It wasn't easy for me.

Around 13 years back, when my mother had died of a prolonged illness, I was shook from my foundation. I had lost all zeal to live. I remember saying to my flatmate and co-worker that, "it seems like my 'जठराग्नि' has got doused by the loss of my birth-giver."
Few years later, one of my closest friends reminded me of that phase of life and said that if I could survive that phase of my life, I can see through any small setback like a 'bad breakup'.
This has stuck with me ever since.

If I can see through the loss of my mother, the only person I admired & adored at the same time, I can definitely weather through any storm in life.

I am reminded of few lines from Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood, 
“No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. No truth, no sincerity, no strength, no kindness can cure that sorrow. All we can do is see it through to the end and learn something from it, but what we learn will be no help in facing the next sorrow that comes to us without warning.”

Seems like life is a series of Cathartic episodes. 

Truth being told, there was a phase in life, when I was unable to take shower as the mere act of closing my eyes and putting my head to the flow of cold water scared me to the bones. 
I have gone through that phase. It is in my past, now. Thankfully! I am full of gratitude to all the professionals I worked with and the blessings of the divine. As without the grace of the ever merciful, not a single leaf flutters even in a raging tempest.
Jai Sri Hari!

You may ask what worked for me?
Let me lay down the 4 tenets of healing:

1. You are not responsible for your suffering. Maybe!
2. There is no shortcut to healing journey
3. Your friends & family are ill-equipped to support you in healing
4. Always consult an Expert Practitioner. Psychiatrists, Psychologists, etc.

So, you may ask, "Should you take therapy?"
Yes!
By all means.
I am a proponent of universal talk therapy; a space where you get to bare all your ramblings & demons from the deep recess of your hearth of emotions & thoughts.  
You need the expertise and a non-judgemental space to pour out your feelings. Merely talking things out sometimes works like magic in breaking the patterns that ensnare your mind. 
So, how do you find an effective mental health expert?
Let me think and write another post.

Have you seen the movie : "Bhool Bhulaiyaa" ?

A Clean Slate

Human beings are more than nature or nurturing.
Every human comes with immense potential to make everything a reality, whatever he/she can think and put his/her attention towards.

Now, all of us, are surrounded by so much noise of society, its bundle of one-size-fits all processes & guides, that we cease to access our own individual source of authenticity. We start becoming copy of a copy of a copy, that too with our individuality smeared across each copy!
Who gains? 
Greed of Society!
Who loses?
Need of Society!

“He, who has a why to live for, can bear with almost any how.” - Viktor Frankl

Each one of us, have different 'Why's', our own 'Why'!
Once we figure that out, we can write any script on our clean slate. Yes, we need to erase every impression of the societal conditioning before we can start chalking about our life plans. We need to seek originality, this requires utmost honesty with our true self; which is the 'clean slate'. You can be whatever you put your thoughts, intentions & actions to.
There is no need lamenting your flaws, lack of privilege, unique circumstances or any such constraints, which seem to bind your tether to the state of inertia. Your authenticity stems from your rough edges, so stop seeking that ideal situation!

I do understand that we all have different abilities & Pātrata, it's wise to understand what could give us the maximum returns for our labour & time, that being said, it's just a constraint, nobody can stop someone who has decided not to quit! 

How to Understand Death?

What?
Now, that you have put me on the pedestal, let me be audacious & sermonise.

Once every few years, keep changing your situation. Meaning, change the place where you live, change where you work, bid adieu to your favourite eatery, ... you get the drift?

So, this is what happened.
I went to submit laptop to my previous employer. While I was in the cab, this thought dawned upon me. Isn't this exit process & formalities similar to the death rituals or rather I would say, अंतिम संस्कार (Antim Sanskar)?

Once you let that feeling seep into you, it's no turning back. You feel drastically different about the same building, same security, same reception, ... everything stays the way it has always been. And, it will be like that for a long time to come. Alas! you would be no more. You would have bid your time, now it's your turn to spread your wings. Now, it's your turn to fly into the next phase.

I understand we miss our colleagues, and we soon find new ones. Ultimately, it all feels like a rite of passage. The less we were attached to our old friends in the old company, it has lesser impact.

How beautiful it would be if we could feel the same for our body, friends, family, belongings...One day we will die, leave all of this behind. 

Do you miss your old childhood school? Old childhood friends? College?
Of course, Yes!
And, deep down you know that you have grown up and grown out of those experiences & emotions.

Ultimately death knocks on all doors!

You are closer to death than you were before reading this blog post.
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Money, Assets & Friends

What do you really need in life? No, apart from Oxygen, Water & Food?
Do you need money? Do you need a house? Do you need a lot of friends?
Do you need a lot of servants? Do you need a chauffeur driven car?
Do you need to be an Investment Banker? Do you need to be as relevant, popular & wealthy as Elon Musk? 

Chew on it!

There are no absolute answers, you have what you need. You strive for what you want. Your life, your choices! But, yes your choices have consequences. No value judgement on either your choices or consequences.

You want what you want!

As, I have aged over the last decade, it has dawned on me that I really don't desire all the fancy things/titles I so aspired for, few years back. A lot of what I wanted appear quite frivolous and meaningless. May be this is a phase, too! No, this isn't mid-life/quarter-life crisis! All I want now is a cup of tea, a comfortable chair & view of snow-clad mountain glistened by early morning sun! Is it a lot? 



Money still buys ...

Of Course, nothing is free in this world. You either need to have a lot of assets or stream of money/cash flow to get anything of material value. Tea is not free, chair isn't free unless you make your own, any picturesque view comes with a price tag! 

How about expanding the radius of your self-centred life?

We have all become hyper-individualistic, or is it just me? Anyway, truth is we mingle only to jingle, these days. Most of our material needs are taken care of without any human interaction! But, is it sustainable? I know, I am failing miserably to drive down the point that we all need people. Call them friends, family or well-wishers! 

There, I have completed the triad! Money, Assets & Friends! That's all we need in life. Rest are just bells & whistles. Again, over-simplifying a lot of nuances of life.

PS : I have written more than 100 posts on this blog!